Deepening Our Relationship With Hashem By Perfection of Mitzvot B'ein Adam L'Chavero
What is striking about Parshat Mishpatim is that it appears to interrupt the flow of the narrative of Bnei Yisroel’s development as a nation. Prior to Parshat Mishpatim, starting with parshat Shemot, we read about Bnei Yisroel’s extraordinary journey from downtrodden slaves to uplifted nation receiving the Torah from Hashem at Har Sinai (parshat Yitro). The parshiyot after Mishpatim delve into the intricacies of the mishkan and priestly garments (and of course, there’s the incident of the egel).
So what are we to make of parshat Mishpatim, a seemingly dry recitation of numerous civil laws that appears out of place in the Exodus narrative? Or is it really out of place? Let’s see….
Explaining the significance of Parshat Mishpatim, Rav Simcha Bunim of Peshischa (a leading Chasidic rebbe in Poland in the eighteenth and nineteenth century) focuses on the word “Lifnayhem” in the first pasuk of the parsha – “V’eleh hamishpatim asher tasim lifnayhem – And these are the ‘laws’ that you shall set before them.”
Rav Simcha observes that the mitzvot in Parshat Mishpatim fall primarily under the category of “bein adam l’chavero” – commandments governing relationships between man and man. Before parshat Mishpatim, we studied the development of the relationship beween Man and Hashem via a series of open miracles culminating in the Har Sinai experience. Now the Torah shifts gears and focuses on mitzvot bein adam l’chaveiro.
The message conveyed by the word “lifnayhem,” says Rav Simcha, is that mitzvot bein adam l’chaveiro take priority. Consistent with the dictum in pirkei avot of “Derech eretz kadma l’torah” – Rav Simcha states that “lifnayhem” teaches us that first mastering the mitzvot bein adam l’chaveiro should take priority over mastering mitzvoth bein adam l’makom (between Man and G-d).
A related point was once shared by Rabbi Jonathan Rietti at a Gateways Seminar concerning the Aseret Hadibrot. Tradition has it that the spaces on both Luchos were filled completely with writing – no blank spaces. However, there’s a problem. The right hand side consisting of the first five Aseret Hadibrot, consisting of mitzvot bein adam l’makom, has 146 words. The left side consisting of the last five Aseret Hadibrot – mitzvoth bein adam l’chaveiro – only has 26 words. Since both sides of the luchos were of the same size how did both 146 words and 26 words fill up the space – it seems that the left side with the 26 words should have empty spaces?
Rabbi Rietti answered that the font size of the words on the left was simply bigger than the size of the words on the right. The message is that our moral and ethical responsibilities are “big” – and perhaps more important from the standpoint of our spiritual development than our responsibilities towards Hashem. One should never underestimate the importance of bein adam l’chaveiro. This is the same message of Parshat Mishpatim, as per Rav Simcha Bunim.
We can glean yet another message from the location of parshat Mishpatim in the Exodus narrative in terms of how to deepen our relationship with Hashem.
My daughter recently shared a dvar torah with me that analogized the development of the relationship between Hashem and Bnei Yisroel to the development of the relationship of a married couple. The initial events recounted in sefer Shemot during which Hashem frees Bnei Yisroel from Mitzrayim were akin to a courtship during which the chasan seeks to impress the kallah with acts of generosity and selflessness.
During the “courtship” of yetziat Mitzrayim, Hashem repeatedly extended Himself on behalf of Bnei Yisroel via multiple supernatural interventions. One can argue that these supernatural miracles were designed to build Bnei Yisroel’s trust in Hashem’s concern for their welfare. In our analogy, it is only when a woman is persuaded that a man she has met will take care of her needs, does she feel safe to give herself over to him as a wife.
Following the courtship represented by yetziat Mitzrayim, the betrothal (or kiddushin) is the giving of the luchos at Har Sinai (much as a chasan gives a ring to his kallah). Indeed, the Talmud states that Har Sinai was held above the heads of Bnei Yisroel like a canopy (albeit, and this is an important point we'll develop later, the acceptance of the Torah at Har Sinai was somewhat incomplete due to an element of coercion as per opinions in the Talmud that state that Hashem held Har Sinai over Bnei Yisroel and would have dropped it on them had they not accepted the Torah. Analogously, when one is involved in a courtship, romantic feelings run strong, and the desire to move forward with marriage is overwhelming – almost a compulsion that cannot be resisted).
In any event, finally, we have the building of the mishkan, which the Maharsha likens to the actual nisuin (where the chasan sets up a home and brings the kallah into it).
In real life, it’s typically only after marriage that the practical aspects of a couple sharing a life together assumes greater prominence and the romantic aspect fades. The focus then becomes how, despite the loss of the romance of courtship and fading away of the excitement of the wedding, how a couple can successfully deepen their relationship over time through shared experiences and responsibilities.
Analogously, following the “courtship” of yetziat Mitzrayim, the “chupa” at Har Sinai, and the establishment of Hashem's dwelling (mishkan) among Bnei Yisroel, the question is how Bnei Yisroel should go about deepening its relationship with Hashem.
The answer is that closeness to Hashem does not necessarily develop from open miracles -- the impact of which fades over time (which might explain how quickly and easily Bnei Yisroel sinned at Har Sinai despite previously witnessing such extraordinary miracles). Or even from perfection of mitzvot bein adam l'makom.
Rather, we deepen our relationship with Hashem by emulating his quality of chesed through commitment to mitzvot bein adam l'chaveiro. As the Gemara states, just as Hashem is merciful, so too should we be merciful. Just as Hashem is compassionate, so too should we be compassionate. In other words, it is through mitzvot bein adam l’chaveiro of the kind identified in Parshat Mishpatim – the perfection of our interactions with other human beings – that we deepen our relationship with Hashem.
This idea is further borne out by the holiday of Purim. As noted earlier, the gemara states that the acceptance of the Torah at Har Sinai was incomplete because of an element of compulsion – Har Sinai was held above our heads. Only many years later, in connection with the miracle of Purim, did Bnei Yisroel fully accept the Torah voluntarily without any compulsion – an acceptance signified by the phrase “kimu v’kiblu” in the megillah.
Importantly, this renewed acceptance occurred even though the miracle of Purim was not an “open” one – Hashem is not mentioned once in the megillah. Rather, it was a hidden miracle that transpired through completely natural forces.
It must also be noted that the hallmark of the holiday of Purim is “mitzvoth bein adam l’chaveiro” - in particular, generosity – matanos l’evyonim (gifts to the poor) and friendship - mishloach manos (exchanging gifts of food).
The message is the same as that of Parshat Mishpatim. That is, the path to a deeper relationship with Hashem – of the kind signified by “kimu v’kiblu” -- is not through “open” miracles (a courtship if you will). Or even through the perfection of the mitzvoth bein adam l’Makom – between Man and G-d. But rather, Parshat Mishpatim teaches us, it is perfection of the mitzvot bein adam l’chaveiro – between man and man - that deepens our relationship with Hashem.
In a nutshell, what Hashem truly wants from us is to be mentsches. By being a mentsch, we emulate Hashem, whose essence is chesed, and thus we deepen our identification with Hashem.
As a proof text, see Hashem’s statement at the at the beginning of Sefer Yishayahu:
“To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto Me? … I am full of the burnt-offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he-goats…Your new moons and your appointed seasons My soul hateth; they are a burden unto Me; I am weary to bear them …And when you spread forth your hands, I will hide Mine eyes from you; when you make many prayers, I will not hear; your hands are full of blood…Wash you, make you clean, put away the evil of your doings from before Mine eyes, cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek justice, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.”
In sum, it emerges that parshat Mishpatim is not out of place, but very appropriately positioned as a key step in the process that takes Bnei Yisroel from attachment to Hashem via miracles to the more enduring attachment to Hashem via emulation of His ways.
If we can succeed in perfecting our mitzvoth bein adam l’chaveiro, then we may become worthy of further revelation of G-d’s presence in this world (as signified by the mishkan and priestly services discussed in the subsequent parshiyot).
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