On the Value of Tears During Tefila
The intensity of tefila on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur often moves one to tears as we pray for life, health, parnasa, shidduchim, etc. As we ask Hashem during the selichos for Kol Nidrei: "koli shema u'reay dema ayni" - "hear my voice and see the tears of my eyes."
The gemara in Brachos (32b) teaches that the destruction of the beis hamikdash sealed off all gateways of prayer to heaven except the Gate of Tears.
Yet sadly, but inevitably, people who cry during tefila sometimes find that their prayers are not answered. Hashem says, "No."
How can we reconcile the gemara in Brachos with the apparent reality?
I recently saw a beautiful explanation in Mishpacha magazine (Family First, July 2009) related by R' Avraham Chaim Feuer. R' Feuer tells the story of widow who approached Rabbi Aryeh Levin and asked him to explain how despite her many tears and prayers and Tehillim, the life of her late husband was not spared. Were all of her tears in vain? A waste? R' Aryeh Levin replied that, no, her tears were not in vain. She simply did not realize their value during her life in this world. But when the woman would ascend to Heaven she would learn that Hashem collected all of her tears, and that when some harsh and evil decree loomed over the Jewish people, her tears played a role in rendering the decree null and void.
To apply this message more broadly, the Torah tells us, "Hanistarot l'Hashem elokeu, v'haniglot lanu u'levnaynu," "the hidden things are known to Hashem, and the revealed things are known to us." (Devarim 29:28).
As humans, we can only pray for a positive outcome to difficult situations that are apparent - "revealed" - such as illness, loss of parnasa, etc. Yet there may be other pending tragic decrees that are "hidden" and of which we are unaware, and thus cannot take into account during our prayers.
If a difficult situation of which we are aware is not rectified, it may seem our prayers were unanswered. But it could be that our prayers and tears were actually effective in averting a different tragedy in a different area of our lives that would have caused us equal, if not greater pain. Except that we were unaware of this "hidden" decree, and how our prayers and tears nullified it.
The fact is, there are many common activities fraught with danger - driving, flying in an airplane, medical treatment, etc. - during which we take our safety for granted. Do we ever consider how our prayers (and tears) may be protecting us from harm during such times?
In short, we should always have faith, as the gemara states, that Hashem hears and collects our tears, and though He may ultimately say "No" to our immediate request, He may be saying "Yes" to protecting us and our loved ones from harms of which we remain unaware because the salvation is "hidden."
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