Serving Hashem Without Expectation of Reward

The third mishnah in the first perek of pirkei avos discusses the optimal attitude one must assume to achieve true yiras Hashem (fear of G-d):

Al tiheyu k'avadim ha'meshamshim es harav al menas l'kabel pras; elah heyu kavadim ha'meshahshim es harav shelo al menas l'kabel, v'ihi morah shamayim aleichem

Be not like servants who serve the master on condition of receiving reward. Rather, be as servants who serve the master without the condition of receiving reward, and fear of Heaven will be upon you.

What seems unclear is why being motivated by reward (and deterred by punishment) should detract from one's yiras Hashem. If one tries to do the right thing (and avoid the wrong things), motivated by a desire to obtain reward (and avoid punishment), why should that person's yiras hashem be less? Indeed, isn't fear of punishment synonymous with yiras Hashem? I try to avoid sin in order to avoid Hashem's wrath, and pursue good in order to obtain Hashem's blessing. What is wrong with that?

Yet, in the fourth chapter of Mesilas Yesharim, we see that reward and punishment is considered the lowest form of motivation for choosing good and avoiding evil (which R' Luzzato refers to as "vigilance" or zehirus). The highest motivation for exercising vigilance in one's actions is the realization that perfection of character is an ideal in and of itself, irrespective of reward.

Insights provided by Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky of Jersualem in a recently taped Tisha B'Av shiur can help shed some light on these issues. Briefly, R' Orlofsky described 3 types of relationships with Hashem by analogy to relationships with other people with which we are all familiar in our daily lives. Since we understand the dynamics of these human relationships so well, the analogy can help us model a relationship with Hashem of the kind described in the mishnah. That is, because we understand which relationships in life give us the most satisfaction and pleasure, we can begin to understand why a relationship with Hashem that is not based on reward will be the most spiritually uplifting.

Rabbi Orlofsky taught that there are 3 levels of relating to Hashem based on the tefilos of the 3 Avos - Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya'akov.

Without getting into R' Orlofsky's proofs, he indicated that Avraham represents relating to Hashem from a distance. A person is in awe of Hashem much as he would be in awe of a tall mountain or other natural scenic beauty. However, this awe does not translate into a perceived closeness or connection to Hashem in one's day-to-day life (note: R' Orlofsky was not suggesting that Avraham did not have a close relationship with Hashem; that would be contradicted by the close relationship between Hashem and Avraham we read about in the Torah. Rather, R' Orlofsky was merely describing a type of relationship with Hashem that can be deduced from the relevant pesukim cited).

Yitzchak represents a closer relationship with Hashem. There is day-to-day interaction, or "conversation." But it's sort of akin to a business relationship. In business, there's always a quid pro quo. For example, I offer something to a buyer in exchange for money. The relationship between me and the buyer is based on an exchange of value. But such a relationship does not lead to any kind of intimacy or closeness. At the end of the day, once business is concluded, we all go home and there's no further interaction until business opens the next day. No exchange, no relationship.

This kind of relationship seems to be analogous to the first one described in the mishnah, i.e., worshipping Hashem based on an expectation of reward. It's as if you tell Hashem that I'll do good, and avoid bad, and in exchange, you'll give me a reward, and/or withhold punishment. For example, I'll daven with kavanah today, and in exchange, I expect you'll help me close that big business deal I'll be negotiating after lunch.

Someone could conceivably reach high levels of piety this way - they are so eager for reward, and so concerned about punishment, that they really only do good, and avoid all evil. But, of course, that's unlikely. As we all know, life is not so simple, and the reward for good deeds is not always immediate, or obvious, while certain challenges and difficulties seem unjust based on the perceived "goodness" of our behavior. So far from promoting intimacy, a quid pro quo relationship with Hashem runs the risk of fraying when the nature of the exchange (from our limited human perspective, of course) begins to appear imbalanced. We may begin to question Hashem (chas v'shalom) much as we might question a business partner who seems to be dealing with us unfairly.

Which brings us to the third level of relating to Hashem described by R' Orlofsky, which is represented by Ya'akov - a level that is analogous to marriage. In an ideal marriage, one gives without expectation of reward simply because of the love and affection one feels for one's spouse. As described in a helpful book on relationships by Yaakov and Sue Deyo (Speed Dating), the ideal relationship is one in which each partner feels honored to give to the other because each partner feels such respect and admiration for the other. There is no expectation of reward in exchange for the giving; just the expectation that one's giving will help one's partner achieve his or her highest potential in life, and the realization of that potential will be the reward.

In contrast, as many therapists will relate, the moment one spouse starts to feel they are giving more than they are getting (i.e., expectations are not being met), there is trouble ahead. In other words, the moment marriage starts to become a business deal - e.g., I'll take out the garbage if and when you do the laundry - intimacy starts to dissipate, and resentment creeps in.

And so it is, the mishnah teaches, with our relationship with Hashem. If we seek a relationship with Hashem that is not based on any reward, but based on the realization that doing good, and avoiding evil, has value in and of itself independent of reward and punishment, then we are on the path towards achieving true yiras Hashem. Because whatever happens in life, one will still adhere to the Torah's guidelines of right and wrong (because the good behavior is not based on any expectations).

As Rav Dessler explains in Strive for Truth (Part 3, page 187): "An act is done lishmah when it is done as a matter of course, when the good deed is not seen by the doer as deserving special credit; just as one does not feel proud at being able to see or hear - on the contrary, inability to see or hear is perceived as a defect." That is, when we do good without expectation of reward it means that following Hashem's word has been internalized to such an extent that we can't imagine ourselves doing otherwise - just as we could not imagine ourselves not seeing or hearing.

To help further clarify the concept, one can consider the actions of a man like Oscar Schindler who saved over one thousand Jews during the Holocaust. Do you think he expected a reward? Was he afraid of being punished if he didn't do what he did? On the contrary, he suffered the loss of his entire fortune (and risked his life) pursuing the ultimate good (saving lives). Clearly, he was motivated by the realization that saving lives had a moral value in and of itself. This is truly exalted behavior (interestingly, when we hear the testimonies of other righteous individuals who saved Jews during the Holocaust, they almost always reject the notion that what they did was heroism, and instead explain they had no choice - it was just the right thing to do and they cannot imagine having acted otherwise).

If at some small level we can incorporate this kind of attitude into our everyday actions - feel joy and satisfaction at doing good because that pleases Hashem (independent of whether Hashem will reward this behavior or not in the way that we want) - and revulsion at doing something wrong because we know that displeases Hashem - much as we might avoid actions that displease a spouse, and pursue actions that make one's spouse happy - then we can hope to achieve the highest level of closeness to Hashem identified by the mishnah. We will help glorify Hashem in this world with our good deeds (see Shabbos 133b - according to one opinion, glorifying Hashem (zeh keli v'anvehu) means emulating Hashem's mercy), and in exchange, Hashem will provide us with the tools to help us reach our spiritual potential (much as committed spouses help each other realize their respective potentials).

To be sure, we have only scratched the surface in terms of understanding some very deep concepts. But the point is that by examining the relationships in our own lives that provide the greatest satisfaction, and understanding why this is the case, we can begin to improve our own way of relating to Hashem so we derive more satisfaction from that relationship as well.

For a further source on how the relationship between Hashem and Am Yisroel is analogous to that between a husband and wife, see Torah Temimah on Bereshit 28:19 - discussing gemara in Pesachim (88a) and Zohar on that pasuk.