Responding to Adversity With Chesed: What We Can Learn from the Weeping of Yosef and Binyamin

Parshas Vayigash, pasuk 45:14, states that, after disclosing his identity to his brothers, Yosef fell upon the neck of Binyamin and wept, while Binyamin wept upon the neck of Yosef.

Rashi comments that Yosef was weeping over the destruction of the two Batei Mikdash to be built in Binyamin's portion of Eretz Yisroel, while Binyamin was weeping over the destruction of the mishkan in Shiloh destined to be built in Yosef's portion.

The sefer Parperaot L'Torah cites the following question of the Chasidic master, R' Yechezkel MiKuzmir: Why did Yosef cry over the destruction of the Batei Mikdash in Binyamin's portion, and Binyamin cry over the destruction of the mishkan in Yosef's portion? More logically, one would think that Yosef would cry over the destruction in his own portion while Binyamin would cry over the destruction in his own portion. Why would each instead cry over the destruction in their brother's portion?

What the Dreams of Yaakov and Pharoah Can Teach Us About Cultivating Spirituality

Continuing an approach we followed last week of identifying the repetitive use of an unusual phrase in two different parts of the Torah and seeking an underlying message, I came across an observation of Rabbi Aharon of Karlin I (b. 1736, d. 1772, a student of the Maggid of Mezritch and founder of the Karlin-Stolin Chassidic dynasty) brought down in the sefer Parperaot L'Torah.

R' Karlin notes that following Yaakov's dream with the angels in which Hashem assures him that his descendants will inherit Eretz Yisroel and of Yaakov's own well-being during his travels outside Eretz Yisroel, the Torah states, "V'yikatz Yaakov mishenato v'yomer achayn yesh Hashem bemakom hazeh - Yaakov awoke from his slumber and said "There is G-d in this place..." (28:16).

Contrast this with the first dream of Pharoah in which he saw seven thin cows devour the seven fat cows. Given that the Egyptians worshipped cows, you'd think this dream would have made a tremendous impression on Pharoah - his "g-d" was eaten! Yet, the Torah records, "V'yikatz Pharoah...v'yishan v'yachalom shenit - Pharoah woke up...then fell asleep and dreamed again... (41:4-5). Yes, after this momentous dream, Pharoah fell asleep - a sleep so deep he had another dream!

Of course, the careful reader will notice that the same word "Vayikatz" is used to describe both Yaakov's and Pharoah's awakening from their dreams. What's the message?

On Being Torah Role Models for Our Children

We've previously blogged about how there's no coincidences when an unusual phrase or word appears in two different places in the Torah - undoubtedly there's some message to be extracted.

An application of this idea appears in parshat Vayeshev. After learning of Yosef's apparent death, Yaakov mourns. But the mourning does not stop (after 12 months according to the Torah Temima), and so his children seek to comfort him. The Torah records Yaakov's response: "Vayema'ain l'hitnachem" - he refused to be comforted (37:35).

Where do we next see the word "Vayema'ain?" In 39:8, Potifar's wife attempts to seduce Yosef, and Yosef's response is "Vayema'ain" - he refused. It's the identical word used to describe Yaakov's refusal to be comforted. What is the connection?

A Chanuka Lesson: Spirituality and Torah Learning Levels the Playing Field

Recently saw a short but sweet message extracted from the Al Hanisim prayer added to Shemonei Esrei and Birchat Hamazon on Chanuka.

The essence of the miracle recounted in Al Hanisim is "masarta giborim b'yad chalashim, v'rabim b'yad me'atim" - you (Hashem) handed over the strong to the weak, and the many to the few." These are, indeed, miracles since, according to the natural order of things, the strong should vanquish the weak, and the many should defeat the few.

However, what is so miraculous about the subsequent outcomes: "the impure in the hands of the pure," "the wicked in the hands of the righteous," and the "evil in the hands of those absorbed in Torah?" These seem more like factual statements, not miracles.

Hafoch Ba D'Kula Ba: Portfolio Diversification in the Torah

In a mishnah in Pirkei Avos (5:6) (popularized by Shweky ; - ), Ben Bag Bag states "Hafoch ba hafoch ba, de'kula ba - Turn it and turn it, for everything is in it." In other words, all of the wisdom of the world can be found in the Torah, albeit often expressed cryptically and with brevity - leaving it to Torah scholars to tease out the details through diligent study.

Over the years, I've found Ben Bag Bag's statement to be very true, and have been zocheh to find all sorts of wisdom and insights embedded within the gemara and other Torah sources ranging from mathematical concepts to principles of psychology.

This week's parsha - Vayislach - offers validation of Ben Bag Bag's principle. For starters, it's well known that sages throughout Jewish history have studied Yaakov's preparations for his confrontation with Esav prior to their own negotiations with foreign governments (indeed, as per an idea floated in an earlier post, there seems to be elements of game theory operating in the story of the confrontation between Yaakov and Esav that could be highly instructive in terms of how each dealt with the dilemmas they faced given the imperfect information they each possessed about the other's intentions and merits).

What's less well known is the nugget of sophisticated financial advice that the gemara extracts from the parsha.

The Struggle Between Yaakov and the Angel of Esav: A Metaphor for Jewish History Still Unfolding

One of the major episodes in parshat Yayishlach is the confrontation between Yaakov and the "man" (32:25-30), whom Rashi identifies as the "sar" (administering angel) of Esav.

Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch and others view the confrontation between Esav's angel and Yaakov as a metaphor for Jewish history. For example, in 32:25, it is said "And Jacob was left alone," portending how tragically, throughout their history in galus, the Jewish people will regularly find themselves in a helpless state, abandoned without the assistance of any allies, to face persecution at the hands of their enemies (chronicled, for example, with respect to the Holocaust, in David Wyman's The Abandonment of the Jews). It is also noted that the pasuk says "Va'ya'avek ish imo" - indicating that the "man" was the aggressor, while Yaakov acted in self-defense. Yet, much as Yaakov survived the confrontation and moved forward with his life while the angel disappeared, so too despite constant persecution, the Jewish people have survived, even if injured and weary, while their enemies have disappeared from the pages of history.

To quote R' Hirsch concerning the message for later generations from the struggle between Esav's angel and Yaakov: "As long as night reigns on earth...it is with the spirit of Esau, duly equipped with the orb of empire, the sceptre and the sword...that Jacob will have to contend, until the Night wanes from the earth."

R' Hirsch wrote these words in the late 1800's - one wonders how he would have interpreted the seminal events of Jewish history in the 20th century - the Holocaust and the birth of the State of Israel - in light of the parable. Let's develop this thought - first, by further exploring relevant details of the confrontation between Yaakov and Esav's angel, and then identifying parallels in recent Jewish history.

Kefitzat Haderech: What's the Message of This Rare Form of Divine Intervention?

In parshat Vayetzei, we see an instance of kefitzat haderech, i.e., a miracle pursuant to which an individual is transported from one location to a geographically distant one with unnatural speed. Specifically, the first pasuk of the parsha (28:10) states: "Vayeitzei Yaakov miBe`eir Shava' vayeilekh Charana." On which the gemara in Chullin (91b) comments:

The Torah states, "And Yaakov left from Beer Sheva and went to Charan." And it states [next pasuk] "Vayifga BaMakom." When he [Yaakov] arrived in Charan he said [to himself], "Is it possible that I passed by the spot where my fathers have prayed and I did not pray?" When he gave his thought to return, the land contracted for him. Immediately, Vayifga BaMakom, he hit up against the place.

For a discussion of whether the kefitzat haderech occurred from Be'er Sheva to Charan, or from Charan to Beit El (where Yaakov slept) (as per the gemara in Chullin), see the parshablog.

The kefitzat haderech for Yaakov is one of four such miraculous kefitzot recorded in Tanach. A second occurred for Avraham when he was chasing the four kings who kidnapped Lot (see Rashi on 14:15).

Another occurred for Eliezer when he departed to Charan to find a wife for Yitzchak (see Rashi on 24:42).

Finally, we have an instance of kefitzat haderech in the time of Melech David when his generals waged war against the nation of Aram (see Midrash Tanchuma, Vayeitzei 3, which contends that the phrase in Tehillim 60:3 - "hirashta eretz patzamta - You made the land quake, you broke it" - refers to the divine assistance that Hashem rendered to David's generals when he caused an earthquake that shattered the land into pieces; these pieces were then brought closer together, thus substantially shortening the distance the generals had to travel to reach Aram).

What is the common denominator between these 4 instances of kefitzat haderech - and what is the message for us?

The Secret to a Happy Marriage Embedded in a Gematria

In parshat Vayetzei (28:19), Yaakov names the location of his dream - "Beit El - the house of G-d," which happens to be the future site of the Beis Hamikdash. 

In Yeshaya (2:3), the navi prophesizes that in the end of days (acharit hayamim), the nations of the world shall say, "Let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the G-d of Yaakov."

On which the gemara in Pesachim (88a) asks, why only a reference to the "G-d of Yaakov," and not also the G-d of Avraham and Yitzchak?

A City Called Luz...

In pasuk 28:19, we learn that Yaakov gave the name "Beit El" to the location where he experienced his dream. Then, almost as an afterthought, the Torah mentions that originally this place was called "Luz." R' Hirsch notes that "Luz" means hazelnut.

What do we learn from this apparently insignificant aside?

To Tell the Truth: Deciding Between Competing Torah Values

The Torah admonishes against falsehood in Shemot (23:7): "midevar sheker tirchak - distance yourself from a false word," and in Vayikra (19:11): "...v'lo teshakru, ish l'amito - a man shall not lie to his friend."

Of the three Avot, Yaakov is most closely associated with the midda of "truth." In parshat Toldot (25:27), Yaakov is described as an "ish tam" (which Rashi explains to mean an honest individual - "ela kelibo ken piv, mi she-eino charif leramot karui tam"). See also Micha 7:20 - "Tetayn emet le'Yaakov" - You have given truth to Yaakov."

Yet, in parshat Toldot, we see Yaakov acting with apparent deceit when he presents himself to Yitzchak as Esav. Perhaps most glaringly, Yitzchak asks, "Who are you, my son?," and Yaakov responds, "It is I, Esav, your firstborn." To be sure, Rashi interprets Yaakov's response as technically truthfully by splitting Yaacov's words into two separate statements, "It is I" and "Esav is your firstborn," so that there was no falsehood. But Rashi's interpretation seems forced, and other commentators disagree and explain that Yaacov deceived Yitzchak, albeit to achieve a just result (see commentary of Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch; Radak, Ibn Ezra).

How do we reconcile these apparently inconsistent sources? Clearly, it is a bad middah, if not an outright prohibition, to lie. Yet, it seems that "deceit" is sanctioned when more important, overriding values are at stake.

The Lesson of Avraham and Sarah's Marriage: How Sharing and Pursuing Mutual Goals Builds Love

In parshat Chayei Sarah, Avraham approaches Efron to purchase a plot to bury his wife, Sarah. Avraham states: "Ach im ata lu shemayni, natati kesef hasadeh kach mimeni... - If you will but listen to me, I am giving you coins for the field, take them from me..." (23:13) - on which the gemara (Kiddushin 2a) comments: from here we learn that the word "kicha" refers to an acquisition using money as consideration ("ein kicha ela b'kesef").

Famously, this exegesis has practical significance in the realm of contracting marriages. Commenting on the pasuk "ki yikach ish isha" in parshat Ki Tetzei (24:1), the gemara (Kiddushin 4b) refers back to the aforementioned pasuk from Chayei Sarah (teaching that "ein kicha ela b'kesef"), and concludes that a marriage may be consummated using money (or an object of monetary value) ("isha nikneit b'kesef").

Unfortunately, the use of the term "acquisition" to describe the contracting of a marriage has been the source of much misunderstanding among those unfamiliar with the Torah's view of marriage. As we will see, the use of the phrase "kicha" to describe the consummation of a marriage alludes to the potential within marriage for the deepest levels of love and friendship.

Increasing the Intensity of our Daily Tefilot

In the gemara in Brachos (26b) there's an argument concerning whether the obligation to pray three times a day - shacharit, mincha and ma'ariv - originates from the avot - Avraham, Yitzchak and Yakov ("tefilot k'neged avot tiknum") - or corresponds to the korbanos brought in the Beis Hamikdash ("tefilot k'neged korbanot tiknum").

The opinion that the tefilot originated with the avot cites a pasuk in parshat Va'yera to prove that tefilat shacharit was originated with Avraham when he arose in the morning to view the destruction that Hashem had visited upon Sodom; see 19:27: "Va'yaskem Avraham ba'boker el hamakom asher amad sham et penei Hashem - And Avraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had "stood" before Hashem." The gemara explains that the word "amad" ("stood") refers to "tefilah" as per another pasuk in Tehillim juxtaposing the word "va'yamod" and "v'yipalel" (standing and praying).

The gemara then explains that mincha originated with Yitzchak when he went out to the field prior to his initial meeting with Rivka; see Chayei Sara (24:63) - "Va'yetzei Yitzchak la'suach ba'sadeh = And Yitzchak went to meditate in the field - as the gemara explains, "sicha" refers to "tefilah". And ma'ariv originated with Yakov when he was fleeing from Esav; see Va'yaitzei (28:11) - "Va'yifga ba'makom" - as the gemara explains, "pegiah" refers to tefila.

I heard a nice dvar torah from Rabbi Elly Krimsky explaining that these three references to prayer by the avot correspond to three different motivations for prayer.

Bris Milah in Lech Lecha: Avraham's Transmission of a Spiritual Inheritance to Yitzchak

In Parshat Lech Lecha we learn that Avraham performed the mitzvah of bris mila at age ninety nine (99) following Hashem's command to do so (17:24). In Parperaot L'Torah, R' Menachem Baker asks why Avraham did not fulfill the mitzvah of mila earlier according to the opinion that Avraham voluntarily kept all of the mitzvot in the Torah (see Toldos 26:5; Yoma 28b; though not all commentators agree). R' Baker cites an explanation from R' Yitzchak Zev Soloveitchik (Rav "Velvel" - son of R' Chaim) that Avraham kept all of the mitzvot according to the principle "zerizim makdimim l'mitzvot", but since mila is characterized as a "brit" - a covenant between man and Hashem - and a covenant (by definition) requires two parties - it was impossible for Avraham to observe this mitzvah prior to Hashem's explicit command.

That is, the essence of the mitzvah of "brit" mila, as the very name of the mitzvah conveys, is a "brit" - covenant - between a Jew and Hashem, and this essential "covenantal" aspect would be missing had Avraham independently performed mila without the participation of the other "party" to the covenant - i.e., Hashem (it has been noted that the word "bris" (covenant) appears 13 times in the verses in Bereishit that introduce this mitzvah).

I want to suggest another possible explanation for the delay in Avraham's performance of mitzvat bris milah.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Torah as the Pathway to Perception of Hashem's Presence

One of the signature symbols in parshat Noach is the rainbow, which Hashem displays following the mabul (Flood) as evidence of his commitment that He will never again destroy the world with water (Noach 9:13). Initially, the rainbow thus appears to be a positive sign - a covenant evidencing Hashem's commitment to mankind.

However, Rashi states that the appearance of a rainbow actually has negative connotations. Observing that the word "dorot" (generations) in the pasuk (9:12) immediately preceding the introduction of the rainbow is missing letters (i.e., two "vavs"), Rashi explains that the word "generations" is "written 'chaser' [missing letters] since there are generations that do not need this sign [that Hashem won't destroy the world with water] since they are totally righteous like the generation of Chizkiyahu King of Judah and the generation of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai." In other words, when a rainbow appears in any generation, it is a sign that there is wickedness in the world, and the generation is deserving of destruction but for Hashem's commitment as evidenced by the rainbow. Indeed, Rabbeinu Yehudah bar Yakar (a teacher of the Ramban) writes in his Peirush HaTefillos Vehaberachos (2:58) that one ought to be inspired to do teshuva upon seeing a rainbow.

Other sources reflect similar ambivalence concerning a rainbow. On the one hand, one makes a bracha upon seeing a rainbow. But once the bracha is made, it is inappropriate to gaze at the rainbow for a prolonged period of time (Chagiga 16a). This is because the rainbow represents the "Shechina" (Divine Presence) (as per the navi Yechezkel, 1:28) (interestingly, there is a natural phenomenon similar to a rainbow called a "glory").

It is also inappropriate to run and tell someone else about a rainbow that one sees since it is like spreading a bad report (that is, the rainbow is a sign that bad deeds are being done, and Hashem is withholding punishment) (Chayei Adam, 63:4) (for full list of "rainbow" sources see here).

What can we learn from this ambivalence? What can we learn from rainbows?

The Purpose of Creation: Sanctifying the Mundane (Living al Kiddush Hashem)

This past Shabbos a cousin of mine was bar mitzvah. Here's the dvar Torah I delivered at Sha'alos Seudos - one you can use at a future Bereshit bar mitzvah (or possibly even other parshiyot since the ideas are of general application).

The first pasuk of the Torah, parshat Bereshit, reads "Bereshit bara Elokim et hashamayim v'et ha'aretz." Rashi immediately exclaims that this pasuk cries out for interpretation. He then explains that the word "Bereshit" stems from "Reshit" - the "beginning," and alludes to the Torah and the people of Israel both of which are also referred to as "Reshit" elsewhere in the Tanach (Mishlei 8:22 and Yirmiyahu 2:3).

Rav Sternbuch, in his parsha sefer Ta'am V'Da'at, cites a midrash stating that the world was also created for the sake of 3 mitzvot which are also referred to as "Reshit" - (1) bikkurim ("reshit bikkurei admatecha," Shemot 23:19); (2) chalah ("reshit arisoteichem chalah tarimu," Bamidbar 15:20), and (3) terumah/ma'aser ("Reshit degancha tiroshcha v'yitzharecha," Devarim 18:4).

Rav Sternbuch asks why are these 3 mitzvot singled out as being the purpose for which the world was created - after all, there are 610 other mitzvot that are important.